New and Improved : Coming Soon

Coming soon. A new layout and vision. Brace yourselves!



I'm still around. Just not so into blogging. Mainly focusing on writing for a local magazine and painting (and the kids, of course, and laundry and bathing, oh and I became a vegan and lost a lot of weight).
You can see my paintings on my etsy page: storyofanartist
If you see a Mom*tastic Magazine laying around, you can find me in there, too.

Thanks for stopping by.


Don Draper explains it

We are all mostly flummoxed by Facebook's ever-changing layout and rules. Let's let Mr. Draper explain what the new timeline will do.

One of my favorite scenes from Mad Men made relevant for today. Genius.


I Love Him

Did i ever tell you about the crazy lady (actually more like a girl) that bought a puppy form me and kept saying in this twee voice, "I LOOOOVEEEEE HERRRR! I LOVVVVEEEE HERRRRR!" I eventually slapped her to the ground but now that phrase is stuck in my head.


Here are my latest painting. I love them both (I LOVVEEEE THEMMMMM), equally. Sold two other paintings this week on etsy and to a student in my art class, yay for me!

Top is "European Robin on snowy branch" and beside is the close-up.
Bottom is "Vulturine Guinea" and beside is close-up.

I heart them equally. I will be sad to sell them.

Also, did I mention my house is a complete mind-job?

We moved everything out of the front of the house, and are currently using what was the coffee bar as the kitchen. Ya'll, the sink holds like 8 cups of water. Do you know how fucking hard it is to wash a glass in that size sink? How about a juicer (I am currently juicing several times a day)? Here is photographic evidence of my misery for when I completely lose it and kill someone at the grocery store with a carton of greek yogurt.

This is me making bacon in my MoFo Kitchen

Notice the juicer which is twice as large as the sink

I call this place My Mother Fucking Kitchen. Don't you feel better about your life?


I Survived!

After three days without a shower, covered in dirt and grime, muscles aching and refusing to cooperate we made it home from the Blue Ridge Mountains. We saw nary a bear or mountain lion (thank you Baby Jesus!). We hiked our asses off and were famished continuously and everything I ate tasted like the best thing I have ever eaten (ie: oodles of noodles, pancakes, trail mix, PB & J on smushed white bread).

Here are a few photos to prove it from my cell phone camera (our point-and-shoot surprised us by having a dead battery even though I charged it fro two days).

Top of The Priest

Top of The Priest

Top of Crabtree Falls

Top of Crabtree Falls

Hiking the Appalachian Trail to The Priest

Me and him at top of Crabtree Falls

Top of The Priest (should not have allowed photos of myself)

Indian Sliding Board (Z trying to scare me to death)

Indian Sliding Board (we didn't slide, waaaayyy too cold)

The Meadows (so beautiful, full of apple trees)

A crevice between the boulders at the top of the Priest

Top of the world! Priest Mountain, VA

We did hear some type of animal, my FIL thought it was a coyote, after the dark. After hiking into the woods to pee when I first wake up (middle of the night or early morning) is a terrible ordeal. It was quite refreshing to sit on a toilet in a climate controlled bathroom without worrying about being attacked by animals or poison ivy.

What was your weekend like?


Ninja Bear

Yesterday was my 14th wedding anniversary. My gift to my husband was saying “Happy Anniversary” first. Ha! Winning.

Seriously, we have a lot of stuff going on right now. All of these things are fighting over the few waking hours we have. We are still preparing for the MAJOR house construction that starts next week. It is going to be…overwhelming to say the least. Also, I am teaching an art class once a week in September. This is stressing me out, so much pressure. And we are preparing for a family camping trip in the mountains. Doing a dinner or date for our anniversary was far from my mind.

Speaking of this camping trip. I’m a wee bit scared. See there are bears. And while bears look all cuddly I know, as Dave Matthews so eloquently put it, would eat my head like a candy. I recently saw a “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” or maybe it was “I Survived” where a guy was stalked and partially eaten alive in his DRIVEWAY at his mountain home. So….(crickets)….

So instead of devoting much time or energy to our anniversary I have been thinking about bears. A. Lot.

I woke up last night from a dream about bears and then laid on my back thinking about how to fend off a bear. How could I protect my kids from being snacked upon by a bear?

cartoon by me, don't steal it, dammit.

We are primitive camping, no handy outlet or water spigot, surrounded by other campers in their similar square campsite. This is how I have mostly always camped, in a campground where our car is like 5 feet away. No, we will be in a beautiful wooded area or meadow thingy in the safety of our tissue thin tent sleeping with our girls who are notorious for having candy in their pockets and food spilled down their shirts (to a bear that smell like a dinner bell). Also, it’s that time of the month. You know what I mean? So basically, I’m dead.
cartoon by me, don't steal it, dammit.

My husband tried to reassure me by saying his dad, who we are camping with, has camped there many times and has never seen a bear only bear scat. “Well, yes, it’s not the bears I can see that scare me as much as the bears I CAN’T SEE! The NINJA BEARS that come in the night to eat my head and claw at my innards. The RAVENOUS BEAR hiding behind the tree waiting for me to squat to poo and gulps be down whole leaving nary a trace of my former self. THOSE are the bears I worry about.” I said all in one breath.
again, original cartoon by me

His response, “Oh……. but he (his dad) has heard lots of mountain lions in that area.”

my cartoon, don't steal it or I'll send a hungry bear after you

(crickets)….Dammit, something else that can eat me.

Postscript: Our Anniversary consisted of a nice dinner. My hubs picked up huge, yummy steaks and prepared them. I made veggies and a chocolate silk pie that tasted good but was a mess. We talked with the kids about how we met and our wedding. I eve got out our wedding album and was shocked again but what babies we looked like. It was fun and sweet and enough in-light of everything else. Especially death-by-bear.


Oh Dear God

Our house is falling in. Yep. That's right. I am not being factitious. We have been noticing the tile (which covers all of the the main living space) cracking for the last few years. It was ugly but whatev. Then we started noticing a more serious problem. We've had 6 guys look under the house and they have delivered all kinds of news from "I'll just replace three joints and spray some bleach and that'll git it done." to "Holy shit, ma'am, I...I don't...Jesus, there's so much...I think..." then that guy ran away crying.

Finally we found someone who had half a brain and wasn't going to screw us over. So, we are moving all the stuff from the living room, kitchen, dining, laundry room and the huge built in bookcase so they can completely pull up all the floors and replace joists, beams, sub-floor, and tile. This will take two weeks to replace it all. We feel completely overwhelmed.

On top of this, I have a scheduled art class for all the wednesdays of September, and we are going camping in the Appalachian mountains next weekend. We have two dogs that we don't know where to put when all this work is going on and a huge boat to get out of the way and school and living here for two weeks sans kitchen and our two main doors to enter/exit.

Let the shit rain down.

Our Great Room: we are moving all our stuff in here until the construction is over and we are using the coffee bar to make prepare and make our food.

Our Living room: after we moved all the stuff out. See that hallway, that goes to our bedrooms and we will have a plastic patchway to get to the great room for 2 weeks.
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