10/21/09

Guest Blogger

She really needs no introduction, but I will play along anyway... My guest blogger today is Unknown Mami. A rockin mama/actress who likes to keep things interesting by wearing a bag on her head. Go check her out!









I Am One of “Those” People
For those of you who do not know me, allow me to introduce myself: I am Unknown Mami. I haven’t actually been Unknown Mami for very long. Up until about 13 ½ months ago I was just Unknown Me and I was such a good Unknown Me. I was one of those people that GSD (got sh*t done).
Actually, I’ve spent most of my life being irritated at people that do not have their sh*t together. Oh you know the kind of people I’m talking about. They walk into a room with a befuddled look on their face like they have no idea where they are or where they are going. Everything confuses them. They can’t find their keys; they can’t get anywhere on time; they are a mess. I guess you could say they are constantly flummoxed.
I would roll my eyes in disdain at these people or huff loudly as I stood behind them at the checkout line when they waited until the last possible moment to fill out their checks (checks!!! Who writes checks anymore?!) only to find out they didn’t bring a pen (big surprise) and of course they never know the date. Honestly, how hard is it to have your sh*t together?
I was so blissfully smug until 13 ½ months ago when I became Unknown Mami. When I gave birth, aside from passing a baby and the accompanying mess, I seem to have pushed so hard that my brain was sucked out of my head and fell out of my vagina. It’s true! No one noticed because it got all mucked up on the journey through my body.
I am now officially a mess. I put my chonies (underwear) on backwards all the time and when I figure it out it just seems like too much effort to do anything about it so I don’t. I never know where my keys are even though I always put them in the same place. I’m always running late no matter how early I leave. You probably think I’m exaggerating. Nope I’m not. I’m an idiot.       
For example, I work outside the home one day a week. I look forward to this day because I get to go to the bathroom without anyone crying and during my break I treat myself to lunch. It feels so luxurious to have someone serve me a meal and enjoy it slowly while I read or just think. Basic stuff here, nothing hard.
Well, recently I took myself to lunch and ordered a little more extravagantly than usual. What the hell, I’m worth it, right? The meal was perfection, the service was great. I asked for the check and when I opened my purse I realized I did not have my wallet. I had left it in the baby’s stroller. I proceeded to dump the entire contents of my purse out because the wallet might magically appear, when it didn’t I started to panic. What am I going to do? I’m alone.  I grab my cell phone and call my husband as I try to keep myself from crying. My wonderful server overhears my conversation and when I get off the phone he tells me to just go back to work, that he trusts that my husband will come and pay the bill. Ah, the kindness of strangers. This is only one of many incidents.
I am now officially one of “those” people. The thing is, I may no longer have my sh*t together, I may be flummoxed, but I am now a kinder more compassionate person. Now if I find myself behind the person at the checkout, I offer them a pen and look at my iphone to tell them the date.


Visit me at: Unknown Mami.


Thank you so much, Unknown Mami! I hope you come back and blog with me again!

 

37 comments:

  1. Awww. You joined us! :-)
    I wouldn't say I'm constantly a mess, but I have my fair share of moments of horror when reality hits me. And when my poor dear enduring husband takes a look at my face and is gracious enough to be so patient and understanding.

    Moments like.... I forgot to go walk the 5 mins to the kids' school and drop their lunch at 12. Bad Mommy.
    Like.... I stood in this looong line to pay the phone bill and I forgot my wallet in the car.

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  2. Great post. Some days it just really sucks to have Mom Brain.

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  3. I hope you feel better. Congrats on your guest post!

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  4. Wonderful post. Compassion is a great thing to have and sometimes it's a thing we need to learn. I'm constantly working on this.

    As someone said to me once, you never know what battles the person across from you is suffering though so keep that in mind and offer them a little compassion.

    Love it lady!

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  5. UM - I love this piece of writing! I can relate on several different levels. The description of your brain falling out the vag is priceless :)

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  6. Ugh, I used to have my sh*t together, too, before I had kids. Now I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing 5 minutes from now if I don't write it down. And I love the bit about going to work and being able to use the restroom- what we give up as moms!

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  7. It is amazing how quickly our lives change.
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

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  8. You're the sweetest flummoxed girl I know. But the backwards chonies, that you gotta fix. ;)

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  9. awwwwwwwwwwww your one of those kind of people worth knowing;)

    peace

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  10. Ah yes, it's amazing what having a baby can do to you. The changes are many and profound. :)

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  11. Well, Unknown Mami, you are as funny when you're flummoxed as when you're just unknown. Unfortunately, I am not sure I have ever had my S**t together but I figure that now I have kids I have an excuse.

    Thank goodness for nice servers! I hope Unknown Papi gave a good tip!
    :-)

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  12. Unknown Mami so you're hanging out at another blog now? You must have your shit together somewhat.
    At one time we had five kids in this relatively small home of ours and we didn't have time to even think about this question of having our shit together. Now I look back and wonder how we did it.
    thanks for a good post.

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  13. Great post!!! I just love you and I am one of those(us )too!!!!

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  14. Ah yes, I have heard that having children takes away your brain cells!

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  15. Welcome to the world of the flummoxed. I've always been one of "those people". Glad you are no longer irritated by the likes of me because heaven knows I could always use a new friend with a spare pen on my side. Great post.

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  16. Brilliant post. As soon as I had R. my brain cells went out the window. When I hit menopause before 40 they left forever. I am one of those persons who offers a little help/kindness whenever I can. I believe in paying it forward

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  17. You discovered the secret about the passage of brain with placenta huh?

    I only wish someone would have warned me. I would have tried to use a bucket or something to try to catch mine.

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  18. Great post, Mami, and thank you Flummoxed, for having her as a guest. I only met her a few weeks ago, and have fallen in love with her. I will check back with you and get to know you better. I like the look of your blog and that you are a coffee lover, too!

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  19. My brain disappeared after my second child was born, I am pretty sure I still had it after my first (or at least half of it). But after two kids: I would take them to the grocery store and check out at self-check out (I need to be in control of what goes in what bag) and then I would proceed to leave at least one bag there or in the cart and head home. I even left $20 cash back once, Wal-Market was kind enough to replace it when I called to ask if it had been turned in (I do believe in goodness, I do, I do....)

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  20. What a beautiful heartfelt post. You know it has been proven my Medical Science that women loose a % of their brain power with baby... that way we concentrate on the baby and not all the other sh*t... it will come back to you - around the teenage years... just in time for you to loose your mind again.

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  21. OMG, you can wear your drawers backwards... I am so impressed!

    The kindness of strangers rocks hard - be sure to pay it forward!!!

    This won't sound good to you, I fear, but my babies are 13 and almost 12 and I haven't regained those brain cells yet...

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  22. You rock on any blog Unknown Mami! Stopping by to show you some support!

    http://www.thewannabewahm.com

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  23. You are not "one of those people"
    you've just had your priorities (and sleep patterns) rearranged!

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  24. Great post as always, Unknown Mami. I'll follow you any where. Except to a restaurant. NO WAY am I gonna get stuck paying your check!

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  25. Great post Mami! It made me laugh. Unfortunately, being childless I am still annoyed by the "lost". I will try to be more compassionate. :)

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  26. Oh to havea brain again! I thought you were writing about me...I knew I would NEVER be one of those people and then WHAM, 4 kids and ZERO brain cells, what will I do when they all move out and I'm left to twiddle my thumbs, because well, thats all I will remember how to do by then! hahaheehee... Great post!

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  27. I know those feelings...and I believe our memories become worse with the birth of each child :) My kiddo's are 10 and 7 and shoot I'm still a mess! haha - It's motherhood and I love it! Hang in there.
    P.S. Congrats on your recent blog awards and for being the the guest blogger here today.

    Tonya
    www.tuesdaysattonyas.blogspot.com

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  28. mami! I love your post b/c I am in the process of doing a lot of dumb stuff even as I write and you made me feel better ;)

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  29. I learned a new word! GSD!! As always, Unknown Mami, you've been illuminating! I haven't seen much of you lately so it was good to find you today!

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  30. Oh..I could have written this, my friend! (Especially the 1st few paragraphs.)

    Well done. Loved it.

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  31. Sooner or later we all become one of ~THOSE~ people. First comes the mommy brain and as the children leave the nest parttimers sets in before ya just lose it all in the end and it becomes full blown all-timers!!!

    Ya'll have a fun day while you can remember how!!!

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  32. I'm glad to see that you've come to the other side :)

    Kristin - The Goat

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  33. Unknown Mami, You are awesome!!! Love your post Muchacha!

    Luv Ya!!

    ~Amor, Familia Y Cultura~
    Betty

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