Hi, It's His Ass Calling

How do you feel about ass-calls? You know, when someone has their cell phone in their pocket and their ass or hip pushes some buttons and rings your phone. You answer, be it the middle of the day or the middle of the night, and all you hear is the muffled sounds of them waling, talking, eating, pooping, whatever.

Sometimes I have gotten very long voice-mail messages of the going's on of my husband at work. The other night my nephew called the house phone and it rang 25 times before I drug myself out of bed to make it stop. "Hullah?!", I answered and hear a bunch of guys laughing and talking. I was not amused at 2 am.

Usually I am. Usually I will gleefully spend many minutes whistling loudly, talking like I am God or saying "Luke, I am your faahhther." to try to get the person's attention. Then I can laugh at them when they sound all confused digging their phone out of their pocket and questioningly saying, "Hello?".

How do you handle ass calls?


  1. Is n't there a commercial with an ass-call in it?

  2. I usually get purse-calls instead, and I respond by trying to talk back to the person...screaming HELLO?! HEY! and yelling their name, hoping to get their attention. But do they hear me calling from the depths of their purses? No. Not once. Just once I'd like to have someone respond.

  3. Ass calls, that is hilarious! And my worst nightmare- that my phone calls someone it is not supposed to who hears a convo they are not supposed to--eek!

  4. I don't get to many ass calls, but I've made some.


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