Kill Me Now...

Please. I believe I am dying a slow death anyway. I feel pain in every cell of my body. What started as an upper respiratory thing-a-ma-jig has turned into Satan's Personal Field Day on my nervous, respiratory and limbic systems. I don't even know what a limbic system is.
I read a quick headline about a guy that fell in a vat of chocolate and died. What's the problem with that? It sounds quite lovely, actually.