Homework, You Say?

I have a newly minted 5th grader and 3rd grader.

The 5th grader got a packet at Open House last week. We brought it home, perused it, she grabbed her one "Get to Know Me" thing to fill out and I sat down for a long-ass case of tennis wrist. Form after form with the exact same questions on them. In fact I think someone was screwing with me by taking the same questionnaire in Pulisher and just reconfiguring them and printing them out againa nd again.

I filled out 14 forms with her name, my name, my numbers, a emergency contact (which I never know does this mean ME, won't they call me first, does this mean if they can't get a hold of me then what?) on and on and on the questions went. Then we got to the really difficult ones like "Tell us what your child's strengths are?" Uh...I mean I KNOW my kid, in and out. I wiped poop off her ass while she hung from my breast for years. But, I want to write something that will convey all her wonderousness (don't worry I didn't use that made-up word on the form) to the teacher. Then there was this doozy. "Tell us what your expecatations are for your child this year?"....Uh...to pass...the..um...5th...grade...for you to like...be kind...to her? Come one people!

By this point my brain was oatmeal. I wrote, "We expect her to exceed all our expectations that we set too high for her and to kick every 5th graders ass in all areas of academics and sports. This is what we expect."

Too much?


I kidd.

Oh, then the 3rd grader brought home the same shit. Damn my hand is tired!