Guest Blogger

She really needs no introduction, but I will play along anyway... My guest blogger today is Unknown Mami. A rockin mama/actress who likes to keep things interesting by wearing a bag on her head. Go check her out!

I Am One of “Those” People

For those of you who do not know me, allow me to introduce myself: I am Unknown Mami. I haven’t actually been Unknown Mami for very long. Up until about 13 ½ months ago I was just Unknown Me and I was such a good Unknown Me. I was one of those people that GSD (got sh*t done).

Actually, I’ve spent most of my life being irritated at people that do not have their sh*t together. Oh you know the kind of people I’m talking about. They walk into a room with a befuddled look on their face like they have no idea where they are or where they are going. Everything confuses them. They can’t find their keys; they can’t get anywhere on time; they are a mess. I guess you could say they are constantly flummoxed.

I would roll my eyes in disdain at these people or huff loudly as I stood behind them at the checkout line when they waited until the last possible moment to fill out their checks (checks!!! Who writes checks anymore?!) only to find out they didn’t bring a pen (big surprise) and of course they never know the date. Honestly, how hard is it to have your sh*t together?

I was so blissfully smug until 13 ½ months ago when I became Unknown Mami. When I gave birth, aside from passing a baby and the accompanying mess, I seem to have pushed so hard that my brain was sucked out of my head and fell out of my vagina. It’s true! No one noticed because it got all mucked up on the journey through my body.

I am now officially a mess. I put my chonies (underwear) on backwards all the time and when I figure it out it just seems like too much effort to do anything about it so I don’t. I never know where my keys are even though I always put them in the same place. I’m always running late no matter how early I leave. You probably think I’m exaggerating. Nope I’m not. I’m an idiot.       

For example, I work outside the home one day a week. I look forward to this day because I get to go to the bathroom without anyone crying and during my break I treat myself to lunch. It feels so luxurious to have someone serve me a meal and enjoy it slowly while I read or just think. Basic stuff here, nothing hard.

Well, recently I took myself to lunch and ordered a little more extravagantly than usual. What the hell, I’m worth it, right? The meal was perfection, the service was great. I asked for the check and when I opened my purse I realized I did not have my wallet. I had left it in the baby’s stroller. I proceeded to dump the entire contents of my purse out because the wallet might magically appear, when it didn’t I started to panic. What am I going to do? I’m alone.  I grab my cell phone and call my husband as I try to keep myself from crying. My wonderful server overhears my conversation and when I get off the phone he tells me to just go back to work, that he trusts that my husband will come and pay the bill. Ah, the kindness of strangers. This is only one of many incidents.

I am now officially one of “those” people. The thing is, I may no longer have my sh*t together, I may be flummoxed, but I am now a kinder more compassionate person. Now if I find myself behind the person at the checkout, I offer them a pen and look at my iphone to tell them the date.

Visit me at: Unknown Mami.

Thank you so much, Unknown Mami! I hope you come back and blog with me again!